If you think you're the only business owner that feels like burning everything to the ground now and then… you couldn't be more wrong.
I talk to A LOT of business owners… in all industries and the sentiment is the same throughout. Even those I see who look like they've got it all figured out and ready to throw in the towel some days.
But you don't have to suffer alone. Keep reading for my best tip for weathering the storm.
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I had something similar on the books for later based on a podcast episode by my Lounge co-host and go-to ads strategist Nicole Diedrich released about how little most businesses owned by women make. In that episode, she quotes some statistics that are pretty disheartening and it really reminded me why I do what I do.
As I’ve said before I’m not a man-hater by any means, I know men listen to this podcast, there are men in the Lounge, and I’m happy to work with male clients… but at the end of the day there just doesn’t seem to be as much support for women. Or maybe we’re just not as inclined to seek it out. Or we don’t have the support or mindset we need to focus on our businesses the way men do, etc.
I’ll stick a link in the show notes so you check that episode and the rest of her podcast out if you haven’t discovered it yet. It’s called Master Making Money with Your Marketing.
The thing that prompted me to release this episode now though was a conversation I had with a biz friend. I’m also a customer and I got a marketing email from her which prompted me to reach out. Talk about being top of mind.
She’s had a lot going on in the back end of her business because she’s planning to sell eventually so she can do something new. And I know she was having a bit of a tough time there for a bit. I actually talked about it earlier this year on episode 197 “What to Do When Business Feels Hard, You Feel Stuck, or You’re in a Rut?” https://ecommercebadassery.com/what-to-do-business-feels-hard/
Anyway… so we started chatting; I asked her how she was and she said “ You caught me on a good day” but I've definitely been on the struggle bus.
Then she asked how I was with business and I told her I was struggling a bit too. I won’t go into all the details here, but let me just say that being married to an entrepreneur when you’re also an entrepreneur, and you recently bought a home and increased your living expenses, and you’re also trying to rejig the back end of your business while keeping the lights on, it’s a whole different level of pressure…
And don’t get me wrong. We’re not going to be homeless or starving. and I am so grateful for what we do have… but the struggle is real sometimes.
And her response to that was… “Really? It seems like you’re killing it!”
And that’s the thing… when we look at most business owners from the outside it seems like they’ve got it all figured out. Like everything is sunshine and rainbows. Because we’re not talking about it, at least not publicly.
I talk to a lot of eCommerce business owners and a lot of them are struggling in one way or another.
I’ve talked to other business owners who have businesses like me and I think damn, they’ve really got it figure out. and then I get the real talk from them and they tell me some days they’re ready to burn the whole fucking thing down. And these are people who have been around way longer than me, have bigger businesses than me, and seem like they have the business I want.
Here’s the thing… and you’ve heard me say this before – it doesn’t matter how things look on the outside you have NO IDEA what is going on in the back end of someone else’s business.
and what I would say to you is if you find yourself getting jealous of someone else, or feeling like you don’t know what the fuck you’re doing, or like you absolutely suck… please please please remind yourself that the other business owner you’re looking at… is thinking the same thing about themselves. Shit, they’re probably looking at you and thinking damn… they’ve really got it figured out.
We are all fighting our own battles in this life and in business.
The best thing we can all do is to reach out for support. Whether that’s joining a membership like the Lounge so you’re surrounded by other eCommerce business owners and mentors, or connecting directly with your biz friends. Either way, you have to be open and honest about what you’re going through to get the support that you need.
Most of us don’t want to talk about it until we hear someone else talk about it. It’s the same thing I tell you when it comes to collaborating with other businesses. Someone has to go first. Let that someone be you.
And look, there is no guarantee that the person you talk to is going to be able to solve all your problems. In fact, in most cases, they won’t. But hearing another perspective, asking questions you hadn’t thought of, knowing that you’re not alone, or even just getting the opportunity to say something out loud can be so powerful. Sometimes that’s truly all we need.
Think of it like a brain dump. I love a good brain dump when I’m feeling overwhelmed because when I have a whole bunch of shit swirling around in my head it’s hard for me to focus. I’ll dump it all out on paper and even though I know I can’t possibly get it all done right now, getting it out on paper just clears up the chaos and allows me to focus.
The same can happen when you finally get what you’re struggling with out in the open. And it doesn’t just help you… it helps whoever you’re saying it to also. Because as I said earlier, there’s a pretty good chance they’re struggling with something too.
I was also recently listening to a podcast that Larissa Loden started. The World’s Okayest Entrepreneur podcast. She’s hosting it with a partner and the second episode they released was Andrew interviewing her about her journey from art teacher to full-time jewelry business owner. She also shared a lot of struggles she had along the way, including when she lost the majority of her business during the pandemic, and how she pushed her way through it all.
If you were to look at her business from the outside you’d probably think she had it all figured out and it was smooth sailing in her business. But hearing her story is a great reminder that rarely is that what’s really going on behind the scenes. I’ll stick a link in the show notes so you can check it out.
My favorite thing she said in that episode is sometimes you just have to muscle your way through it. You are resilient. You will figure it out and live to see another in your business.
But know that she didn’t do it alone. She’s worked with coaches, service providers, and she’s built a great team. She leans on others to help her figure shit out. And you need to do that too.
Remember… I’m here for you and have plenty of ways I can support you if you need it. I’ll stick some additional links in the show notes for those along with the podcast episodes I mentioned here today.
I hope if nothing else this episode gave you the reminder that you needed that you are not alone. there is nothing wrong with you if you’re struggling right now. And your best next step is always to reach out for support.